that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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