I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You pole danced in your parka.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
