I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
