I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
