Her vagina should come with caution tape.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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