I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
