At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
