You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
