I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
