If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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