He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
