if i can run in heels then i can drive
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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