Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
