Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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