wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
