what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
