hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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