Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
