What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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