I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
