You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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