My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
