your thong is hanging out like whoa
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
