Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
