Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
