I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We named our party play list daddy issues
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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