you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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