fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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