Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
