I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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