i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
