This girl is more easily done than said...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
