We should be called the Road Head Warriors
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
