I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
