I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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