Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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