I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
