I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
