You're my little dorito
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
