So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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