Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
