you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
