windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
