my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
