he shaved USA in his pubs
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
