My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
