I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
