those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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