She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
