Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
